I'm writing this badly, but I’m not sure how to entirely express it. and i think the answer factors in to your decision/dilemma. But I’m wrote you back because that is, again, something most women in your shoes usually state without a prompt or a follow-up Q. Maybe it’s an oversight-maybe you meant to say “I don’t want to have sex with other men.” Maybe that’s how you feel. Usually when I get email from women whose husbands or boyfriends want them to have sex with other men they’ll say, “I really don’t want to have sex with other men," and/or, “I’m worried that once I’ve done this he’s going to want to have sex with other women and I’m not okay with that.” So setting aside the commitment you got and still want. You say, “I do not want to see him or have him with other people.” But the issue here isn’t about monogamy generally or the commitment you got and still want from him-a monogamous commitment-it’s about the commitment he got and apparently no longer wants (if he ever wanted) from. He’s releasing you-in a certain context-from the monogamous commitment you made to him. He’s not asking you to release him from the monogamous commitment he made to you. He’s asking you to have sex with other men. When you say "monogamy on your side," OWED, what do you mean? - Danīut to be clear: he’s not asking you if he can have sex with other people. Am I confusing monogamy on my side (which is non-negotiable for me) with what he wants? And if he wants it so much, while I am neutral at best, do I owe him to explore this? I only want my husband! But I also want to satisfy him. But this is what he says he only fantasizes about. We’ve done all the usual: taking dirty, flirting while he watches (with my wedding ring on, nothing deceiving to the other person), I’ve gone on erotic sites. I just am not interested in other men-I love my husband! But of course I slept with other men before my husband, I am not a prude and I want to make him happy and I don’t want to shut down his fantasy. This has been his main fantasy over our ten year relationship and he has increasingly tried to escalate this. My only concern is his “ultimate” fantasy, which is to watch me with another man. I'm madly in love with my husband and very satisfied with our sex life.
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